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Good Men

Here are a few thoughts about “Good Men!”

“Simply put, the world is in need of Real, Good men! Now I know that there are a few grammarians in the audience who, in your minds, have just corrected me! You’ve said to yourself, “You mean REALLY good men” and you are correct, technically. Yet, judging my comments purely on technicality misses the point. Let me explain.

A good friend once asked me if I knew the difference between a Nice Man and a Good Man. Frankly I didn’t because I had never thought about such a distinction. He went on to explain… “A Nice Man” he said, “will say what needs to be said in order to get done what needs to be done, yet may not believe anything he’s said.” Interesting concept, I thought. He continued… “A Nice Man is a bit like a politician. They use puffed up words that stir our emotions, move us toward goals that we might not fully understand and prod us into actions that might not be exactly in concert with our intents or purposes.” I sat, looked and waited for him to continue and . . . he did. “A Good Man,” he said, “is one who is consistent to the core. A Good Man operates from a consistency of spirit – a kind of ‘what you see is what you get’ perspective. A Good Man is a man who says what he means and means what he says and that consistency is demonstrated in the actions of his life.” So in this definition, a Good Man possesses a Good-to-the-core set of values, works his hardest to follow those values and shares those values with all fortunate enough to cross his path. That made sense to me and I adopted that distinction as I moved through life.

That being the case I often ask, “What do Good Men do?” Here are some of my answers. Good Men spend time in self-reflection before casting judgement toward another. Good Men laugh heartily at the funny, the weird and the wondrous in life! They also know how to laugh at themselves.

Good men treat women with dignity and respect. They open doors for them; acknowledge their intelligence; encourage their self-expressions; thank them for holding the world together with their propensity for love; recognize and honor their personhood.

Good Men take time to play with their children and listen, truly listen to them when they share their stories and adventures! Good men read books to children; laugh at their jokes; engage in their “tea parties;” encourage their imaginations and creativity; get down and the floor and play often with them. Good Men understand that the future of our world lies in the lives of our children and they invest the best of themselves into those children in hopes of creating a better world for all.

Good Men fail… they make mistakes. When Good Men fail and make mistakes, they have the courage to acknowledge those mistakes and accept responsibility for the outcomes. Good Men refuse to shift blame to others. Good Men refrain from making excuses and focus on making sounder and wiser choices as a result of the lessons learned from their failings and mistakes. Good Men know how to apologize and mean it.

Good Men dream dreams; follow dreams; share thoughts; comfort the distraught; give to those less fortunate than they; speak honestly; stand FOR rather than stand against. Good Men struggle with Faith and question it when necessary. Good Men draw strength from that questioned Faith as they work to make sense of this crazy world! Good Men Believe! They believe in people; in possibility; in second (and third and fourth and fifth) chances. They believe in the abundance of life and seek to instill that belief in others.

So in a sense, Good Men are Real Men and Real Men are Good Men!

Real, Good Men make the world a better place for the rest of us. Without Real, Good Men this world would be much messier than it already is. We are in desperate need of more ‘Real, Good Men’ right now!”

Peace! Mark E. Hundley

Mark Hundley M.Ed.,LPC-S

Mark Hundley M.Ed.,LPC-S

Mark Hundley has worked with children, youth and families since 1971 – devoting 13 years to youth and family ministry; another 10 years to service in public education as a teacher and high school counselor; and the remaining time as a therapist, consultant, speaker and writer.

He earned his B.A. in Sociology from Hardin-Simmons University; his Master’s in Counseling from the University of North Texas; and has pursued doctoral studies in Educational Administration.

Mark is a Life Transition Specialist with a specific expertise in the field of grief. He works with individuals, families and corporate bodies to create and implement strategies for powerful living despite obstacles faced.

He is the author of Awaken to Good Mourning – a personal guide through the journey of grief – available in both print and audio versions. He is a co-founder of the Journey of Hope Grief Support Center in Plano, TX, a non-profit agency that provides free group grief support to children, adolescents and their parents or adult caregivers as they learn to mourn the death or impending death of a loved one.

Mark limits his practice to evening and Saturday appointments; supervision for Licensed Professional Counselor Interns; online counseling; coaching, consulting, speaking and training.

For more information about his coaching, consulting and public speaking services visit mckinneycounselingservices.com

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